DISCLAIMER: *This blog is not pointing the blame on the industry or the certain people. Everything I went through was on ME! I know I could have handled this situation better, but Im only human so dont judge me*
I can keep it real with ya'll right?!? I've been going on this CRAZY soul searching journey for the past 3 months. Been thinking about getting out of music biz n studying to become an elementary teacher... YES! That's how deep it was Gosh By Gollyers. I started to HATE music entirely and I couldnt see myself being in this crazy biz dealing with all this madness when Im 30 n want kids n stuff. My love turned into hate because I felt like the biz had turned its back on me. It was like a very bad break up. I wont get into details, but a lot of companies and a few people I worked with began 2 give me the cold shoulder. I adore music it's my 1st love, but the business side can get ugly. Its a lot of shaddy ppl that want to shake your hand when your at the top and ignore your calls when your at the bottom and that's not me as a person. I didnt wanna transform into that jerk exec. On top of that its very hard to have a life outside of the music biz especially when you're on the come up cause "There's always somebody in life trynna take your spot". I just realized all this madness is what made me fall out of love with music. It was bad to the point where I wouldnt watch MTV Jams or anything. I used to google new music everyday. Da last time I looked up new music on a daily basis was in September. Im telling yall I'm going through it! In while all this was going down I was going through a bad break up and I was stressed about my finances n school. But in this crazy journey I got 2 rock out in the studio with my homies B.Hines C. Hines n Ant. They just gave me sooo much love and reminded me that there are good ppl in this industry. Da fellas r also proof that you dont have to become an asshole to have success. Those fellas prolly dont know it but that night is something I'll always appreciate. So with that I started blogging again, but then school kicked my butt n I had 2 chill but fast fwd to NOW...
I love music again, but the corporate side still rubs me the wrong way. I've become very family oriented, I realize when I dont have any1 else I will always have those knuckle heads and when no1 else can put a smile on my face they can. I think Im going to still change my major to education n keep a minor in communication next yr. I want to look into working with audio engineers. Vibe in the studio feels so much more relaxing than in da craziness of working in PR for entertainment....& now you guys know the whole truth n nothing but the truth lol.
I love you all for supporting my blog. I appreciate each n every 1 of u so so so so sooooo much!!! Big Ups 2 all my amigos trynna find there way while chasing their dreams. Feels good to get this off my chest the last day of '09 WHOOP WHOOP!
deeepp Jaz. I feel ya on dis one...glad ur back
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